Novice Kneebone …

PM “What we need, Sir Humphrey, is a boonga … They’re killing us up there in the Territory. A celebrity boonga, that’ll do the trick.”

Sir H “But what about the incumbent senator, Prime Minister?”

PM “What has she ever done for us? And a Rudd supporter at that, we can safely nail her arse to a tree.”

Sir H “Well, she has worked hard for the last fifteen years, she is the co-convener of Emily’s list, much liked … ”

PM “Yeah, by K Rudd, stuff’er”,

Sir H “The local branch won’t like it …”

PM “Stuff them, too. Not likely that they’ll come up with a boonga is it?”

Sir H “Well, in fact they were thinking of doing just that, Marion Scrymgour has thrown her hat in the ring”

PM “But she’s been in and out of the ALP and in again …”

Sir H “… Well you can’t hold that against Ms Kneebone, she’s yet to join”

PM “But she’s a celebrity, we’ll fix it. Just remind me to keep her away from pink batts, oh, and education.”

Sir H “And the branch?”

PM “Bunch of hicks. Just tell them, Humphrey, Captain’s Pick … what’s Crossin up to today? I’d better let her know”

Sir H “Well, the lady you just dumped for not being black enough is in Melbourne today chairing the enquiry into the new anti-discrimination laws”


Bushfire …

Just about everyone who lives in Victoria has, or knows someone who has been badly singed in one of our many ferocious fires.

They’re upon us again.

Friends of mine have a house at Coongulla on the bonny bonny banks of Lake Glenmaggie. They look across a narrow arm at the place where once there was a caravan park.

Imagine yourself in their position when they first saw this warning …


The view across the Glenmaggie weir at night was both beautiful and terrifying …


Their house is still standing, the fire is still burning. Presently the weather is more benign. Thursday could see another major test.

Good luck, guys, our thoughts are with you.



News from Cape Cod …

The Cape Cod Times has published an apology.

Apparently one of their reporters has been making it up as she went along.

The reporter was Karen Jeffrey, 59, a writer for the Cape Cod Times since 1981. In an audit of her work, Times editors have been unable to find 69 people in 34 stories since 1998, when we began archiving stories electronically.

On Tuesday, Jeffrey admitted to fabricating people in some of these articles and giving some others false names. She no longer works for the Cape Cod Times.

A sort of Lance Armstrong of reporters. Her best chances of future employment are probably with the ABC or Fairfax …

Mr Cricket …

Thank you, Michael Hussey, and all the best.

Your international cricket career could easily have started sooner and lasted longer.

Your cricketing brain was unmatched. Time and again you rose to the occasion, usually a crisis, and steered your team towards victory.

The quintessential cricketer, Mr Cricket, you will be missed.