Highlights …

Mr Rudd inspected the Liberal party figures today and accused Mr Abbott of a $10 billion fraud.

You’d have to agree that this would be cheap at twice the price. After all, it’s less than the difference between the last promised budget surplus and the actual budget deficit, and considerably less than the deficit of about $200 billion that Labor has accumulated since it last came to power.

And now it seems that the Departments of Treasury and Finance are scrambling to distance themselves from the costings that Mr Rudd is using.

Yesterday’s highlight must have been this …

I will leave Mr Rudd to engage in that kind of personal attack. I would simply suggest that if you want to know my character, ask my colleagues. If you want to know Mr Rudd’s character, ask his colleagues.

Vote Compass …

The ABC would like to help you vote, indeed they do their very best every day to help you vote.

But even more than that, and in case you were thinking of voting Liberal,  they offer the Vote Compass to help you overcome any confusion about which party you should really vote for.

I just filled in several pages of questionaire and discovered that I was pretty much in the centre of the spectrum between social conservatism and social liberalism, and slightly to the right of centre on the economy. Interestingly, among the issues that I might have taken an interest in when it came to making a decision, there was no mention of being able to balance a budget.

If you are confused about your own place in the political landscape let me offer a much more efficient path to a sensible decision. Just answer the following questions …

  • Are you intelligent, rich and successful? Yes/No
  • Would you like to be intelligent, rich and sucessful? Yes/No
  • Are your spouse or children intelligent, rich and sucessful? Yes/No
  • Would you like your spouse or children one day to seem to be intelligent, rich and sucessful? Yes/No
  • Do you have a pulse? Yes/No

If you answered yes to one or more of these vote Liberal.

Temperament …

“There are, in my opinion, difficult times which lie ahead and I sometimes question, I really do question, having known Mr Abbott for a long, long time whether he really has the temperament for that sort of thing,” Mr Rudd told Today Tonight.

“You have got to sit back and think and calmly reflect and then work through what the best decision is and judgment and experience are quite important.

Presidentially speaking …

As you all well know, because of decisions, that some derided at the time, but ones that I had the courage to make, as I say, some years ago, and let me also say this, decisions that Mr Abbott said no to, decisions as we all know he always says no to, Australia is about to take over presidency of the UN Security Council making me a very very important person on the world stage if not the central pillar that keeps it from sinking into the abyss.

It is incumbent on me, therefore, to abandon campaigning and fly post-haste to Canberra where President Obama awaits to brief me on the unfolding tragedy in Syria where it seems someone has put sarin into the chicken and mushroom risotto instead of a dash of pepper, I shall of course be flying via Brisbane in order to do some essential research on chicken and mushroom risotto and it’s importance in social media, as well as, let me say, as well as keeping some long-standing and entirely private but very important engagements.

It is, of course, entirely appropriate that the Australian people be kept from worrying about these matters of extreme importance, their intellect being so feeble that they can barely understand Kitchen Cabinet on TV.