Novice Kneebone …

PM “What we need, Sir Humphrey, is a boonga … They’re killing us up there in the Territory. A celebrity boonga, that’ll do the trick.”

Sir H “But what about the incumbent senator, Prime Minister?”

PM “What has she ever done for us? And a Rudd supporter at that, we can safely nail her arse to a tree.”

Sir H “Well, she has worked hard for the last fifteen years, she is the co-convener of Emily’s list, much liked … ”

PM “Yeah, by K Rudd, stuff’er”,

Sir H “The local branch won’t like it …”

PM “Stuff them, too. Not likely that they’ll come up with a boonga is it?”

Sir H “Well, in fact they were thinking of doing just that, Marion Scrymgour has thrown her hat in the ring”

PM “But she’s been in and out of the ALP and in again …”

Sir H “… Well you can’t hold that against Ms Kneebone, she’s yet to join”

PM “But she’s a celebrity, we’ll fix it. Just remind me to keep her away from pink batts, oh, and education.”

Sir H “And the branch?”

PM “Bunch of hicks. Just tell them, Humphrey, Captain’s Pick … what’s Crossin up to today? I’d better let her know”

Sir H “Well, the lady you just dumped for not being black enough is in Melbourne today chairing the enquiry into the new anti-discrimination laws”