Broadband …

I wish I had some.

The pause is due to Telstra, the blogging pause not the pause in global warming. There was an almighty storm at the end of February. The cable that connects me to the outside world blew about in the wind. Opinions vary but it may have done itself some injury against the power cable, also suspended in mid-air. Internet connection then became slow and subsequently ceased.

Telstra was rung. Very lovely, polite, cheerful and helpful lady with excellent English, although in the Philippines, promised a speedy recovery. Stayed home on the appointed day, phone at the ready until the day expired. No technician.

Telstra was rung. Very lovely, polite, cheerful and helpful lady with excellent English, although in the Philippines, made enquiries, which takes a while, and divulged the sad news that the technician had been. Sadly, he hadn’t thought to knock on the door, ring on the phone or write a note. The job was completed, albeit totally unsuccessfully, because it was a power company issue. “Ring the power company,”she said. ” And ask them to do what exactly?” I asked.

Not impressed with having to ring the power company to ask them to perform an unspecifiable task for unascertainable reasons we asked to speak to a technical person in Melbourne. Impossible. Your supervisor, then. Certainly. Finding a supervisor takes a while.

I am not certain what qualities lead to promotion, but clearly not good manners or fluency in English. Supervisor unable to explain what problem the technician had discovered, agreed to make further enquiry and ring back within 24 hours. He didn’t.

Rang Telstra. Very lovely, polite, cheerful and helpful lady with excellent English, although in the Philippines made enquiries which takes a while, and could shed no further light on the matter. She was kind enough to connect me to the cancellation department.

Very lovely, polite, cheerful and helpful man, a native speaker of English, in Melbourne, began the process of terminating my relationship with Telstra and then very delicately enquired if things had reached the point beyond which divorce was the only option. He would get to the bottom if things and expedite the repair and give me a discount on my fax line if I could just bear with him. It is a sad commentary that the Telstra business plan has the best and brightest working in the cancellation department. He sounded so earnest that I gave him the chance. Within half an hour a technical person was on the line. It would take five days to solve the problem. He would confirm arrangements in two days.

He didn’t confirm.

Five days later rang Telstra. The cancellation department. Two more days …

Will this reach a satisfactory conclusion?

Meanwhile, hot spotted through Gayle’s mobile phone I struggle onward.