New World Record … ?

The Editor Guinness Book Of Records

Dear Sir

We realise that idiocy by parole boards is extremely competitive with numerous examples of parolees committing serious offences. We realise, too, that it is very hard to measure objectively. We thought it would be well worth the effort to set up a record attempt that would clearly jump both those hurdles.

As threshold offences we thought the appropriate setting would be murder or violent rape. For objective measurement what could be better than time elapsed?

For our attempt on the record we chose a man who had been released on parole on three previous occasions. He had always managed to offend within days. We could therefore be pretty sure on the time elapsed score that we would be on the money. And given the nature of his previous offending an escalation was bound to get him over the threshold sooner or later.

We can now claim complete success. We would ask you to carefully check your records and see if anyone has even got close.

Within seven hours of release our man had stabbed an elderly woman to death, a former partner and a passer-by.

We think the achievement entirely worthy of inclusion in your next edition.

Yours sincerely,

The Queensland Parole Board

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