Mendacity …

A man died and went to heaven. As he stood in front of St. Peter at the
Pearly Gates, he saw a huge wall of clocks behind him.
He asked, ‘What are all those clocks?’
St. Peter answered, ‘Those are Lie-Clocks.
Everyone on Earth has a Lie-Clock.
Every time you lie the hands on your clock will move.’
‘Oh,’ said the man, ‘whose clock is that?’
‘That’s Mother Teresa’s. The hands have never moved, indicating that she never told a lie.’
‘Incredible,’ said the man. ‘And whose clock is that one?’
St. Peter responded, ‘That’s Abraham Lincoln’s clock. The hands have moved twice, telling us that Abe told only two lies in his entire life.’
‘Do you have one for Julia Gillard?’ asked the man.
‘Yes we do. Julia’s clock is in Jesus’ office……..
He’s using it as a ceiling fan.’

Tax …

Half way through the calendar year, sometime in the next six months I will have finished paying my debt to the government and start to keep my earnings.

It will be a little later this year due to the carbon tax that Julia promised we would never have … but good news, today is the coldest day in Melbourne for four years, its working already.