Peppa spray …

One of the unintended consequences of Mr Abbott’s budget is the threat to Peppa Pig.

Pigs are raised for food, not for decoration, not for their perfume. How insensitive is the ABC to broadcast Peppa Pig without so much as a trigger warning. Kids confronted with their bacon and eggs at breakfast are in grave danger of PTSD.

And does the ABC not realise that pigs are not halal. How culturally insensitive.

How long before the pig police … hang on, is that a tautology? … catch up with them?

I call on you now, Mark Scott, slaughter this nefarious pig this very instant, make it your highest priority, set aside any concerns you may have about bias or balance, cease worrying about any offence the Chasers may have given to dog fuckers everywhere. Do it now … humanely, of course.

It will make an old man happy, of all the drivel that it has been my grandfatherly duty to endure Peppa Pig is without doubt the worst.

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