Where’s the dog catcher …

There’s never one around when you need one.

The Australian

Hours before the ABC broadcast an on-air apology last night to Kenny, the Chaser presenter named in the defamation suit, ­Andrew Hansen, appeared to defy the terms of the settlement in a tweet: “ABC’s apologising to Chris Kenny, again. The Chaser isn’t, again. But we’ve agreed not to make more pictures of ABC execs shagging hamsters.”

The Chaser’s Chris Taylor posted on Facebook: “Just to be clear. The Chaser team is not apologising, and will never apologise to Chris Kenny. Tonight’s on-air apology is from the ABC, not us.”

Both statements appeared to breach the terms of the ABC’s settlement with Kenny that specified members of the Chaser team would not make public statements that “detract” from the apology.

This clause in the settlement, which also included the ABC paying Kenny’s legal fees and some damages, was intended to prevent a repeat of the way The Chaser’s Julian Morrow undermined Mr Scott’s personal apology to Kenny in April. Mr Scott refused to respond to questions yesterday about whether statements made by the Chaser presenters breached the terms of the settlement. A source close to the ABC said, “If management is not able to insist that its instructions be followed then what you have is anarchy.”

Mr Turnbull welcomed the apology but said the entire affair had been mishandled by the ABC. “My only regret is that immed­iately following the tasteless skit the ABC did not apologise to Mr Kenny,’’ he said. “I have no doubt that would have settled the matter. As it is, the only winner out of this mishandled episode has been the legal profession.”

Back to court for Mr Kenny?

Time to resign, Mr Scott.

The ABC is the dog …

chris_kenny_dog-1024x575

This is the way that the ABC thought it appropriate to depict its right wing critics.

After the event the ABC investigated itself and found

A controversial Chaser sketch depicting a News Corp columnist having sex with a dog didn’t breach the ABC’s editorial policies, the ABC’s complaints department has found.

The ABC will today notify almost 200 complainants that the photo-shopped image of Australian columnist Chris Kenny having sex with a dog would have offended many viewers but was legitimate satire.

The ABC, champions of free speech … when it suits them.

Mr Kenny was not amused and sued. Eventually Mark Scott, ABC managing director, found it expedient to issue an apology, immediately devalued by the producers of the skit who said that they did not apologise. And to make sure that Mr Kenny didn’t revel in any sense of victory the ABC issued an ultimatum – drop the case or face the consequences of a legal battle against a corporation backed by any amount of taxpayer’s money.

Mr Kenny would not be bullied and tonight the ABC will apologise on air.

Peppa spray …

One of the unintended consequences of Mr Abbott’s budget is the threat to Peppa Pig.

Pigs are raised for food, not for decoration, not for their perfume. How insensitive is the ABC to broadcast Peppa Pig without so much as a trigger warning. Kids confronted with their bacon and eggs at breakfast are in grave danger of PTSD.

And does the ABC not realise that pigs are not halal. How culturally insensitive.

How long before the pig police … hang on, is that a tautology? … catch up with them?

I call on you now, Mark Scott, slaughter this nefarious pig this very instant, make it your highest priority, set aside any concerns you may have about bias or balance, cease worrying about any offence the Chasers may have given to dog fuckers everywhere. Do it now … humanely, of course.

It will make an old man happy, of all the drivel that it has been my grandfatherly duty to endure Peppa Pig is without doubt the worst.