From my Gippsland correspondent, the news is a few days old but may shed light on a hurried resignation …
A public school teacher was arrested today at Tullamarine International airport as he attempted to board a flight while in possession of a ruler, a protractor, a compass, a slide-rule and a calculator.
At a morning press conference, Attorney General Nicola Roxon said she believes the man is a member of the notorious Al-Gebra movement. She did not identify the man, who has been charged by the AFP with carrying weapons of math instruction.
‘Al-Gebra is a problem for us’, the Attorney General said. ‘They derive solutions by means and extremes, and sometimes go off on tangents in search of absolute values.’ They use secret code names like “X” and “Y” and refer to themselves as “unknowns” but we have determined that they belong to a common denominator of the axis of medieval with coordinates in every country.
As the Greek philosopher Isosceles used to say, “There are 3 sides to every triangle.”
When asked to comment on the arrest, Prime Minister Gillard said, “If Darwin had wanted us to have better weapons of math instruction, He would have given us more fingers and toes.” Government aides told reporters they could not recall a more intelligent or profound statement by the Prime Minister. It is believed that a Nobel Prize will follow.