Tag: humour

Buy the lens …?

Not long ago I managed to trim down the weight of my camera kit. The ever tightening stance of the airlines caused me concern. I even managed to get a lighter pair of binoculars. But …

Inevitably the weight has crept up again. I currently carry two cameras when I travel, one for landscape and time-lapse, a Lumix GH4, and a Cannon 7d mark ll with a telephoto for wildlife. At home I leave a full frame Sony with a nice macro lens. Of course none of them talk to each other, three different sensor sizes, incompatible lenses. Why? Because no one just buys a whole kit in one go and times change.

I’m thinking ahead to another big trip. Do I buy a bunch of lenses for just one of my much-loved cameras? What happens if it fails in the time I’m away? It is so hard but fortunately there is a flow chart …

It doesn’t solve the problem but it does amuse you while you ponder.

A good walk spoilt …

Robert McGee was at the golf club.  He began his round with an eagle on the first hole and a birdie on the second.
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On the third hole he had just scored his first ever hole-in-one when his mobile phone rang… It was a doctor notifying him that his wife had been in an accident and was in a critical condition in ICU.
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The man told the doctor to inform his wife where he was and that he’d be there as soon as possible. As he hung up he realized he was leaving what was shaping up to be his best ever round of golf.
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He decided to get in a couple of more holes before heading to the hospital. He ended up playing all eighteen, finishing his round shooting a personal best 61, shattering the club record by five strokes and beating his previous best game by more than 10. He was jubilant….
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Then he remembered his wife. Feeling guilty he dashed to the hospital. He saw the doctor in the corridor and asked about his wife’s condition.
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The doctor glared at him and shouted, “You went ahead and finished your round of golf didn’t you! I hope you’re proud of yourself!”
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“While you were out for the past four hours enjoying yourself at the country club your wife has been languishing in the ICU! It’s just as well you went ahead and finished that round because it will be more than likely your last! For the rest of her life she will require round the clock care.  She will need IV fluids,  you will have to change her colostomy bag every 3 hours and her tracheal tube twice a day. She will have to be spoon fed slowly and almost continuously, oh and not to mention  the hygiene care.”
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The man broke down and sobbed.
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The doctor chuckled and said, “I’m just messing with you. She’s dead.
What was your score?”