The Great White Ant …

Well, finally, Australia has a government.

Colourful Christopher got in early with his claims, Bill Shorten was still swanning around in self congratulation, but it has come to pass. The coalition has the numbers, perhaps number, a plural seems a slight exaggeration.

The waffling banker  will be the Prime Minister. You could switch the initial letters around without getting further from the truth … the baffling wanker. The small L Liberals (where L is short for loyalty) can rejoice that not all of them lost their seats. Pity really. Given that both sides of politics promised to totally disregard economic reality and race us to bankruptcy, it’s a task that could have been safely left to Labor. Their track record being impeccable in that regard.

Abbott would have made mincemeat of Shorten. He could have mentioned the boats, countered the suggestion that Liberal contenders are prone to tell lies with a very brief replay of Julia promising no carbon tax and, of course, he could have promised no carbon tax. Turnbull can’t do that having promised us a carbon tax. Nor could he run on his record, waffling on like a scratched record is no substitute for achievement. Turnbull put considerably more effort into overthrowing Abbott than in winning an election. But then winning an election is a little like face to face combat, unlike shuffling around dispensing innuendo and looking for an opportunity to slip a knife in someone’s back.

The only reason for his rise to power was the fact that he looked better in the polls than Abbott. He now looks like the self made millionaire … that inherited billions. Much was made of his appeal to progressive types. It didn’t dawn on the small L Liberals that progressives would like him but not vote for him in a fit. In another era I’m sure Jeff Kennett liked John Brumby a great deal (and Abbott would positively love Bill Shorten). We all approve of weak enemies.

Turnbull has a vision, we know, it’s Turnbull, Prime Minister. Does he have a vision for Australia, I think not.

Mr Shorten is very happy with his achievement, Mr Turnbull is entirely happy with his. It’s the people of Australia that lost the election.

Veggie day …

Meanwhile in Germany …

A dramatic fall in the polls for the Green party has been blamed in no small part on their Veggie Day proposal, in which canteens would be obliged to offer only vegetarian food once a week, with Germans (among the most enthusiastic carnivores in Europe) encouraged to follow suit at home … The Greens have fallen in the polls by between four and five percentage points since August – and a staggering 10 points since 2011. They are now predicted to get just 9%-10% on 22 September.

And the Worst Headline

The hot air buffoon …

Will he make it? It’s a nail biter, a cliff hanger. Latest news is that Mrs Palmer’s little boy (who’d have thought that Mrs Palmer could become pregnant?), who was romping away in the soon to be capital of FNQ, has had his lead slashed to a mere 64 votes.

Clearly, this is the result of a conspiracy, possibly involving the CIA, FBI, AEC, LNP, YMCA, Uncle Tom Cobbly and the CWA.

A recount is a must, we owe it to Australian politics to get this guy over the line. Parliamentary privilege was invented for a man like him. Can you just imagine it?


Canberra here we come …

Shaw thing …

“Victoria Police has charged a 45-year-old Frankston man with 23 charges of obtain financial advantage by deception and one count of misconduct in public office,” Victoria Police spokeswoman Cath Allen said.

“The charges relate to an investigation into allegations of misconduct in public office by a serving member of the Victorian Parliament in 2011.”

Mr Shaw has been summoned to appear before Melbourne Magistrates Court on 8 October. <HeraldSun>

The parallels between the federal government propped up by the execrable Craig Thomson and the Victorian state government and Mr Shaw are uncanny. The leaders concerned both put their government survival ahead of any thoughts of ethical behaviour, whilst both alleged miscreants will find themselves in court fairly soon.

Mr Shaw has apparently repaid $1250. Which brings us to another interesting parallel …

JULIA Gillard wrote a personal cheque for $4243 to the Department of Finance because her partner, Tim Mathieson, had misused her taxpayer-funded car to drive around Victoria selling shampoo and other haircare products in breach of parliamentary rules.

Documents released to The Australian under Freedom of Information laws yesterday show that Ms Gillard made the payment on March 9, 2007, as deputy leader of the opposition because of concern over a breach of rules forbidding the use of the car for commercial purposes. The documents were provided yesterday after a 10-month battle by the former prime minister and her office to prevent the Department of Finance from following through on its decision to release the material. <TheAustralian>

Can we look forward to Miss Gillard’s appearence on similar charges?

Albo in …

I happened to hear Mr Shorten’s press conference as I was driving the other day. He made a speech tossing his hat into the ring and outlining the qualities that would make him a good Labor leader. Galvanizing, electrifying, inspiring, renewing are all words that you don’t need to describe it. Three years of that, I thought, and I’ll die of boredom. Albo has, at last, announced that he too will run. I suspect he is intellectually the inferior but, gee, he offers much more entertainment. Good on yer, Albo.

The government …

Do we actually have one, anyone here elect it?

If I seem to have neglected matters political this past little while the reason is quite simple, I’m lost for words.

Half the previous government has headed for the back benches and will not contest the next election. Not long ago I heard Mr Conroy referred to as a senior minister, an illustration of what little talent was available … then. How little is left!

The new treasurer, what’s his name, oh Mr Bowen, has said the economy needs careful management in the next few years and for some unfathomable reason thinks Labor should be entrusted with the task.

So, we have a talent free, policy mystery government under the rule of a former failure who his own colleagues think is disfunctional if not certifiably mad.

And he’s fled the country …