The Races …

Birdsville, Queensland, has a population of about 100. The annual races are run in the first week of September. T’other day all roads were closed and the track was underwater. The camp grounds were a sea of mud, you grew taller as you walked about.

The weather forecast for …

Thursday 1 September

Summary
Min 14
Max 22
Rain.
Possible rainfall: 25 to 40 mm
Chance of any rain: 100%

Cloudy. Very high (near 100%) chance of rain. The chance of a thunderstorm. Heavy falls possible. Winds east to southeasterly 15 to 20 km/h turning southerly during the morning then tending northwest to northeasterly 25 to 40 km/h during the afternoon.

… courtesy of the BoM on August 30th.

Tipped to win …

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New World Record … ?

The Editor Guinness Book Of Records

Dear Sir

We realise that idiocy by parole boards is extremely competitive with numerous examples of parolees committing serious offences. We realise, too, that it is very hard to measure objectively. We thought it would be well worth the effort to set up a record attempt that would clearly jump both those hurdles.

As threshold offences we thought the appropriate setting would be murder or violent rape. For objective measurement what could be better than time elapsed?

For our attempt on the record we chose a man who had been released on parole on three previous occasions. He had always managed to offend within days. We could therefore be pretty sure on the time elapsed score that we would be on the money. And given the nature of his previous offending an escalation was bound to get him over the threshold sooner or later.

We can now claim complete success. We would ask you to carefully check your records and see if anyone has even got close.

Within seven hours of release our man had stabbed an elderly woman to death, a former partner and a passer-by.

We think the achievement entirely worthy of inclusion in your next edition.

Yours sincerely,

The Queensland Parole Board

The Great White Ant …

Well, finally, Australia has a government.

Colourful Christopher got in early with his claims, Bill Shorten was still swanning around in self congratulation, but it has come to pass. The coalition has the numbers, perhaps number, a plural seems a slight exaggeration.

The waffling banker  will be the Prime Minister. You could switch the initial letters around without getting further from the truth … the baffling wanker. The small L Liberals (where L is short for loyalty) can rejoice that not all of them lost their seats. Pity really. Given that both sides of politics promised to totally disregard economic reality and race us to bankruptcy, it’s a task that could have been safely left to Labor. Their track record being impeccable in that regard.

Abbott would have made mincemeat of Shorten. He could have mentioned the boats, countered the suggestion that Liberal contenders are prone to tell lies with a very brief replay of Julia promising no carbon tax and, of course, he could have promised no carbon tax. Turnbull can’t do that having promised us a carbon tax. Nor could he run on his record, waffling on like a scratched record is no substitute for achievement. Turnbull put considerably more effort into overthrowing Abbott than in winning an election. But then winning an election is a little like face to face combat, unlike shuffling around dispensing innuendo and looking for an opportunity to slip a knife in someone’s back.

The only reason for his rise to power was the fact that he looked better in the polls than Abbott. He now looks like the self made millionaire … that inherited billions. Much was made of his appeal to progressive types. It didn’t dawn on the small L Liberals that progressives would like him but not vote for him in a fit. In another era I’m sure Jeff Kennett liked John Brumby a great deal (and Abbott would positively love Bill Shorten). We all approve of weak enemies.

Turnbull has a vision, we know, it’s Turnbull, Prime Minister. Does he have a vision for Australia, I think not.

Mr Shorten is very happy with his achievement, Mr Turnbull is entirely happy with his. It’s the people of Australia that lost the election.

Good Morning Melbourne …

The Photographer’s Ephemeris revealed that a spot on the Yarra River near the Westgate Bridge would give me a great view of the sun coming up over good old Melbourne Town and this time, the ephemeris had much better control over the weather. Just before sunrise …

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The glow intensified and I was rewarded for my efforts by this …

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A short walk gives a better view of the docks …

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and if you look very carefully you can see a number of hot air balloons (and you can always get a better view by clicking on the photos, the back arrow on your browser returns you to this page), I wasn’t the only one saying good morning Melbourne. I retraced my steps and caught them as they crossed the city skyline …

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What an adventure they were embarked on …

Nine passengers have jumped from a hot air balloon hovering over Melbourne’s Port Phillip Bay onto a police boat below following fears the balloon, which was low on fuel, would ditch into the water.

While the drama unfolded over the bay, a second hot air balloon crashed into a suburban street in nearby Aspendale Gardens.

No one was hurt from either balloon. The one over the bay was sufficiently buoyant, once the passengers had jumped off, to fly on and land ashore.

The Photographer’s Ephemeris …

I’m in the big smoke for a few days. The weather was fairly wild the other day so I headed to Frankston to see what the waves were doing.

They were trying to knock down the pier …

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No one was game enough to fish off the end.

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The bridge over Kananook Creek is something of a local landmark …

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Which brings me finally to the point. The Photographer’s Ephemeris will show you where the sun and moon will rise and set as well as where they will be any time in between and as it happened that very day the sun would set right under the bridge …

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The pin marks the spot where the camera was situated for the photo above it. The orange line shows the direction of the sun at sunset which would be at 1714. That, I thought, would convert an ordinary photo into something more interesting.

I was on the spot at 1714. It was pouring with rain, the sun wasn’t even represented by a glow through the cloud.

More adventures with bread …

So it’s been a little over the week since you received the good oil on bread. No doubt you have now produced seven or so perfect loaves. What next?

Well, we can up the efficiency a bit by making enough dough for three loaves at time, it will keep in the fridge for about two weeks. And we can get a bit more serious about weights and measures by using the kitchen scales.

Bakers use a system that gives proper proportions in the mix, the Baker’s percentage. Since the flour is the most important ingredient let the flour equal 100%, then for the no-knead method you will need about 74% of that amount of water and 1 to 2% of that amount of salt. For three loaves thus:-

  • 1500 grams flour
  • 1110 grams water
  • 15 grams of salt (the lower end of the range – keep it healthy)
  • 1 spoonful of instant dried yeast

The water should be lukewarm. After that easy mixing process the dough should sit in a warm room for about three hours then into the fridge it goes. The next day break off a third, flop, fold and bake it. Just the same method as Steve has taught us, the Dutch Oven should be thoroughly preheated, then 235°C for 20 minutes covered and a further 20 uncovered.

It’s also time to start experimenting with a few variations. You can substitute up to about 200g of that 1500g of baker’s flour with wholemeal, spelt or rye flour without needing to change the system. A few sesame seeds on top makes the result look even more pleasing.

My first spelt loaf …

… tasted as good as it looks.

This all becomes very addictive. There are a heap more variations and it may well be time to invest in The New Artisan Bread by Hertzberg and Francois published by Thomas Dunne Books, the no-knead system explained in depth with enough variations on the theme to keep you going for months.

Whatever you do don’t buy Tartine Bread by Robertson from Chronicle Books or The Bread Baker’s Apprentice by Reinhart, Ten Speed Press or watch anything on YouTube about sourdough. Those things are seriously addictive …

The next episode … how to make a sourdough starter.